Monday, December 06, 2010


I just got back from teaching my last two formal classes of the semester (although my students and I have to attend a poster presentation on Saturday). Driving home, I thought about how I always used to call my mother and say, "I'm done with classes!", and how I can't do that anymore.

So I was already feeling a little weepy when I pulled into the garage. Getting out of the car, I glanced up at a shelf and saw a red-berry Christmas tree, a small tabletop one that Gary and I bought one year when Mom visited for Christmas. We never decorate just for ourselves, but we did for her.

Seeing the tree undid me completely.

This is just going to keep happening for a while, especially through the holidays. I'm so glad we're going to San Francisco.


  1. Last Christmas I was with you
    and we made the season bright.
    Everything you did for me
    set my heart alight.
    This year you can't see my face
    and you cannot hear my voice.
    Please know I would be with you
    if I had a choice.
    If I had one Christmas wish
    I would make a wish for you
    that you'd find me in your heart
    where I live with you.

    I miss my folks pretty badly at this time of year too. Keep busy.

  2. Anonymous8:02 AM

    Dear Susan,

    Thank you for sharing your ups and downs - wherever you go, and whatever you're doing, I hope you can be gentle with yourself as you ride the waves of grief that can come up around the holidays, and I also hope you find some love and some laughter along the way.

    Blessed Advent, Joyeux Avent, Feliz Adviento,



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