Craziness

I've always been one of the reasons the stereotype of "absent-minded professor" exists. Even at the best of times, I tend to be klutzy and forgetful (one of last semester's students noted on a teaching evaluation that I'm "accident prone," and that's true, if somewhat off-topic). But today I really outdid myself. I got to a job talk late because I went to two wrong rooms -- in two wrong buildings, interrupting two classes in the process -- spilled tea all over myself in my first class, and then told the students to have a good weekend.

Sigh.

Well, I do want them to have a good weekend, but saying that on Monday's just rubbing in the fact that the week's barely started, right?

Before I left my office for my first class, I downloaded Google Chrome and set it up with the same apps and extensions I have at home. When I returned to my office, the apps included two games that I swear, swear, I didn't download. (I promptly deleted them, since I hardly need more ways to fritter away time.) So either my computer's possessed or someone's sneaking into my office. Neither idea is reassuring.

Gah. Time to set up the computer so it won't come out of sleep without a password. Pain in the patootie, if you ask me. Not, of course, that it makes any sense that someone would break into my office to download games. There must be some other explanation. It's still mighty strange.

On happier notes:

I'm listening to an audio version of Kate Braestrup's Here If You Need Me and loving it. She's a chaplain for the Maine State Game Warden Service -- coolest! job! ever! -- and I highly recommend the book.

Weather permitting, which it looks like it actually might, we're going to San Francisco for the long President's Day weekend. I have a professional gig on Friday, visiting a class on "Philosophy and Science Fiction" at UCSF -- they'll have read two of my stories, which we'll be discussing -- and the rest of the weekend we'll see our friend Ellen and her family, and walk on the beach, and hike the Land's End trails, and eat good food. We have a hotel reservation and a cat-sitter. Now we just need good weather! This is a real extravagance, especially so soon before the Spring Break cruise, but it's the trip we didn't get to do over Christmas, and I think I need it. Maybe when I come back, I'll be less spacey.

Oh, and check out this cool photo. Behind the English building on campus there's a small manmade pond called Manzanita Lake. It's frequented by ducks and swans and geese that are fun to watch, especially when they have their babies in the spring (although the babies often get picked off by owls, which isn't fun, although necessary for the owls), and it contains concrete rings, mini-pools, whose function I don't quite understand. On my way home tonight, I looked at the lake and at the trees reflected in it, and I realized that the calmer water inside the concrete ring was reflecting the tree much more clearly. So I took a snapshot. Interesting image, isn't it?

Finally, have you all seen the happy news that dark chocolate is healthier than fruit? Of course, since the study was conducted by the Hershey Center for Health and Nutrition, there may have been some bias involved. But I had some dark chocolate after dinner anyway, just in case it's true.

Pop Goes the Noodle

I took my first aquacise class today. See the graceful, serene person in the photograph, in perfect harmony with the water and her buoyant foam noodle?

I am not in this picture.

To be fair, I was in trouble even before we got to the noodles. The class -- an instructor somewhat younger than I am and a group of hardcore students, all quite a bit older -- were very welcoming, but I'm really uncoordinated, especially when I'm trying anything new. So the instructor would show off maneuvers which involved things like touching the right palm to the left heel while kicking out with the right heel and spinning like a cork (there actually wasn't anything that complicated, but it all felt that complicated), and I'd be touching the right palm to the right heel while trying to kick with the left foot, and instead falling over.

The instructor was on solid ground at poolside, wearing a headset. Periodically, she'd stand in front of me and offer encouragement. "No, use the other foot, Sue. Left. Your other left. There, you got it! Ooops. No, honey, kick out and not back," and so forth. I was definitely the aquacise poster child.

After a while, the other students got into the act. "Susan, it will be easier if the water's only chest-high: you're too deep." "Lower. Get lower in the water. Squat." "No, honey, you're swimming now. You aren't supposed to be swimming." And so forth.

And then we started with the noodles.

The noodles are long, cylindrical foam floaty things with which one is supposed to perform fun tricks. Sit on your noodle like a swing and use your arms to propel yourself around the pool! Rest your ankle on your noodle to do a stretch! Put your noodle between your legs and ride it like a seahorse! My problem was that I couldn't find the proper center of gravity, so whenever the noodle was in the proper position, I couldn't stay upright, and when I arranged the noodle so I could stay upright, people started telling me it was in the wrong position.

Also, someone told me later that these were new noodles. When they're broken in, there's traction. These were very slippery, so I got most of my exercise during the noodle portion of the program by wrestling with a buoyant eel-like object which kept trying to get away from me, and which, in one instance, indeed flew out of my hands, shot up out of the water, and described a graceful arc as it came down on the head of the lady to my left.

She laughed, thank goodness. Noodles don't weigh much.

It was all very, very silly. It was a lot more bearable than seventh-grade gym class -- although that's not saying much -- because everyone was so nice. I can't say it felt like much of a workout, either, although maybe it would have if I'd been doing it right, and it was at least a light workout, which is nice some days.

So I'll try it again. But I'm looking forward to plain old swimming tomorrow!

Susan Goes Boom

The guest bedroom where I'm staying is narrow. Right inside the folding door, there's a small rocking chair I had as a child. I love rocking chairs, but I also have a particular knack for bruising my ankles on the rockers. I've been tripping regularly over this one.

Last night, after everyone else was in bed, I headed to the bathroom. As I left the bedroom, I managed to put my foot through the leg of the rocking chair, which sent me crashing through the folding door -- tearing it partially off its hinges -- and into the hallway, where I knocked over one of the house's many litter boxes in the process of falling.

I landed with a very loud thump and immediately thought, Liz will think something happened to Mom. Mom came charging out of her bedroom (or creeping unusually quickly, anyway, since she has trouble walking) saw me on the floor, and said, "I thought that was a cat! I couldn't imagine what had happened!" Meanwhile, Liz had come racing up from downstairs to check on Mom.

I sat there laughing as both of them gaped at me. "I'm fine," I said, and I was, and I am this morning, too. I have a bruise on my ankle, but nothing's sore, swollen, or unusable. I have, however, moved the rocking chair into another room, the one with the broken computer.

Reminders of my stay here will include a broken computer and a damaged door. I hope I don't do anything worse before I leave!