Thursday, February 03, 2011

Weepy


Today's good news is that my phone's working fine again, thank goodness. Going to the Verizon store to deal with BlackBerry issues is right up there with standing on line at the DMV.

On the less happy front, I've been incredibly and bizarrely weepy today: sobbing in the pool, breaking down during a meeting with a student (less embarrassing than it sounds, since this is a very kind person and someone I know well), and generally fighting tears while walking, driving, yada yada. I'm not sure what's going on; I mean, sure, I'm still grieving, but I wasn't thinking more than usual about my parents today. I've checked my records, and today doesn't seem to be the anniversary, or near the anniversary, of anything particularly painful. Since it felt a bit like low blood sugar -- although I've eaten my normal amount today -- I grabbed an extra power bar at work, and that seems to have helped a smidgen. I'm panicky about my continuing writer's block, but I'm always panicky about that.

I really, really hope this isn't depression. I don't want to go back on meds. I went off them six months ago (almost exactly) and have been doing fine, except that I can't seem to get my writing mojo back, which is one of the main reasons I went off. I'd expected it to happen by now, so maybe the panic kicked up a notch because it's been six months with so little movement?

Whatever it is, I hope it goes away. (Long-suffering Gary had to listen to me weep and whine when I got home, and that's no fun for him, either.) The very sympathetic custodian at work said maybe I'm getting sick. I hope not, but at least that would explain this.

Gah.

3 comments:

  1. You know, it could just be that miserable time of year that is getting to you. Are you anywhere close to a vacation in a warm place where you can soak up some sunshine? If not, how about taking some vitamin D? Hang in there, ths too shall pass.

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  2. Thanks, mbj! We'll be spending spring break in Mexico -- although it's been unseasonably warm and sunny here for over a month (we aren't getting the storms that are walloping the rest of the country), so I'm not sure weather's behind this.

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  3. sometimes you just need to cry.

    hope that's it, eh?

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